Harriet the Spy

A poem to our friendly apartment ghost.

Dear Harriet:

Jubilee House resident ghost

Koinonia Farms

1329 GA Highway 49 South

Americus, Georgia 31719

I’m sorry

That we forget to leave the door open for you.

I’m sorry

That you have to hide,

Crammed in dusty boxes and under tables,

Waiting for us to leave or sleep

So that you can move free

Because we are not ready

To see your ghostly shape,

Even though we say we wish to.

I’m sorry we’ve taken over your home,

Acting like we own the floors and ceilings,

And that the stories echoing through these walls

Are ours and that we made them –

We forget that our eyes cannot hold

The complexity of the world’s shapes

And that the trees

Reach both taller and deeper

Than our own souls and bodies

And into places we can never even hope to see.

I’m sorry

We act as if you were never like us –

Like you never felt hard sun

Beating down on your naked back,

Like you never tasted the love

Inside of freshly picked fruit,

Like you’ve never known the hurt

Of losing someone close;

You even know the hurt of losing yourself –

Of feeling matter whoosh from around your spine

And dissipate as floating dust,

Watching all substance leave you

With a lightness you did not want

Or see coming.

We do not know how you went –

Maybe with warmth and friends,

Maybe quiet and alone,

Maybe you were scared

Or maybe ready.

Maybe you did not have time to be either.

Were you old?

Did you get to do everything you wanted?

Was time enough for you?

When you walk here,

Are you anxious? Nostalgic? Reminiscing? Unfinished?

Was the light at the end of that dreaded tunnel

Soft and welcoming

Or harsh and bright?

Did you stare into it or squeeze your eyes shut?

Was it there at all?

It is not fair for us to pretend

That we know what it felt like

To move through planes of existence,

To feel the chill and loss.

It is not fair for us

To pretend like you do not know life

And understand us;

We let our fear push and hinder,

Unknown and questioning;

We hide our faces

And cover our ears from the knowledge

That one day,

We will walk with you.

-Lauren Wilkie